2.01.2011
Hop Scotch.
After talking "blogs" with one of my students I did a little investigating and have decided that blogger.com is not working for me. I am in the process of switching over to tumblr.com instead. That new forum is up and running as we speak with all of the current posts transferred and new photos added. You will notice I've also switched the name to make this a little more confusing. You can find the new blog at www.ablogbyrebeccajo.tumblr.com. Thanks for reading, see you there!!
1.31.2011
The Tortoise Wins Again.
I'm just not that inspired today. I have no idea why, wish I was. I have the energy and I'm ready to go, but no matter how determined I am the creativity just won't flow... and I love to flow. For some reason my body is moving at a lower energy level, and given my usual stamina that strikes me as a sign to move a little slower today. There are so many ways to go through the day, so many choices to be made and paths to take that if you are always rushing through, you forget to take time to understand what you are doing. In my daily activity as well as my personal practice I often enjoy taking the scenic route, strolling through, observing sights and sounds, and allowing myself to fully experience each moment. Unfortunately, I am not always afforded that luxury and I tend to spend my afternoons zigzagging around the underground city in a metal box filled with faces I likely will never see again, so, when I do find the time I try to savor it.
Given that today is my "day off", the only day I do not have a regularly scheduled class and have no recurring plans, I have decided to attend to tasks at home, primarily focusing on self study and research. As I said I do not feel inspired, and to me that means that it is time to reflect, to learn and to find a quiet focus. Its hard not to give in to the desire to load every second with activity, but time is not necessarily always meant to be filled and in always doing so it becomes hard to see the moment for what it is, for what you can learn from it and how you can gracefully move through it. I allowed myself to begin my day slowly, and in doing so it unfolded into a peaceful sequence of steady progressions, allowing me to accomplish all of those little tasks I put off simply because I never remember to do them at a convenient time. And while maybe I didn't erect the world's next masterpiece, I did use my hands to create something new and perhaps this entry did not come easily, but at least it has been written and in writing it, I have found a bit of understanding.
A common challenge I face as a teacher is a students desire to move faster than their body should on that particular day or during that specific time in their life. The need to feel accomplished outweighs the time necessary to observe and absorb, to comprehend and then properly apply the information that is given to us in every instant of the day. In practice, is important to slow down the motions whenever you have the chance in order to properly translate the messages of our bodies, both physical and subtle. The next time you move through a sun salutation, slow it down so much that you need to engage your entire being in order to continue moving strongly through space. You will see that it actually requires more energy and power to flow slowly than it does to speed through at the rate most of us have grown accustomed to.
On days like this, I prefer a more linear practice, moving slowly through Surya Namaskar A and focusing primarily on forward bends, standing balances, and isometric strengthening, taking the time in both posture and transition to access and activate from finger tips to toes and then circling back around. I practice the postures that require more detailed concentration than the average hour long class will allow. The bends calm my mind and the balances harness my focus so that I can culminate strongly in a safely supported inversion practice. Rather than feeling exhausted from forced effort my slow motions and concentrated attention leave me feeling strong and replenished and ready for another day.
Given that today is my "day off", the only day I do not have a regularly scheduled class and have no recurring plans, I have decided to attend to tasks at home, primarily focusing on self study and research. As I said I do not feel inspired, and to me that means that it is time to reflect, to learn and to find a quiet focus. Its hard not to give in to the desire to load every second with activity, but time is not necessarily always meant to be filled and in always doing so it becomes hard to see the moment for what it is, for what you can learn from it and how you can gracefully move through it. I allowed myself to begin my day slowly, and in doing so it unfolded into a peaceful sequence of steady progressions, allowing me to accomplish all of those little tasks I put off simply because I never remember to do them at a convenient time. And while maybe I didn't erect the world's next masterpiece, I did use my hands to create something new and perhaps this entry did not come easily, but at least it has been written and in writing it, I have found a bit of understanding.
A common challenge I face as a teacher is a students desire to move faster than their body should on that particular day or during that specific time in their life. The need to feel accomplished outweighs the time necessary to observe and absorb, to comprehend and then properly apply the information that is given to us in every instant of the day. In practice, is important to slow down the motions whenever you have the chance in order to properly translate the messages of our bodies, both physical and subtle. The next time you move through a sun salutation, slow it down so much that you need to engage your entire being in order to continue moving strongly through space. You will see that it actually requires more energy and power to flow slowly than it does to speed through at the rate most of us have grown accustomed to.
On days like this, I prefer a more linear practice, moving slowly through Surya Namaskar A and focusing primarily on forward bends, standing balances, and isometric strengthening, taking the time in both posture and transition to access and activate from finger tips to toes and then circling back around. I practice the postures that require more detailed concentration than the average hour long class will allow. The bends calm my mind and the balances harness my focus so that I can culminate strongly in a safely supported inversion practice. Rather than feeling exhausted from forced effort my slow motions and concentrated attention leave me feeling strong and replenished and ready for another day.
1.28.2011
Would you call me selfish?
I tend to do my best thinking in the shower. A rush of inspiration comes to me and I'm faced with the dilemma of where to place my focus. Do I rush to my desk dripping wet in order to write down my thoughts or do I complete the task at hand? I've often chosen the former, but from time to time I decide to just let my thoughts ride out and keep them mine, never to be recorded nor shared.
Living in this city leaves you with few opportunities to be completely alone. Each day you are surrounded by thousands of people, most of whom you don't know and are bombarded by sounds and smells, all of which make it nearly impossible to be alone with your thoughts. You are so hyper aware of your environment that you can't concentrate or hear anything that's happening inside your head. Too much is required of you. For me, the shower is my time of solitude away from society and obligations where I can sift through my thoughts, work through my mental garbage and in some ways find a sense of enlightenment. It's where I do my mental yoga. While I always somewhat regret not writing everything down or having someone to share my ideas with at that moment, I sometimes enjoy keeping it as my own.
So many of us have a tendency to overload our lives with social interaction, entertainment and work that we completely lose sight of ourselves. It is crucial to take these moments of quite introspection to get back in touch with what's happening within your own universe. I have sought counsel from various professionals, confided in friends, and taken advice from mentors but I find it is the time I dedicate to myself that leads me to true sense of understanding. Sometimes you have to be selfish, because its the time you spend alone that actually develops your real identity, not the people and the stuff that encircle you. Find a place of solitude, turn off the tv, take out your earplugs, put down the book and take the time to just listen to yourself.
Living in this city leaves you with few opportunities to be completely alone. Each day you are surrounded by thousands of people, most of whom you don't know and are bombarded by sounds and smells, all of which make it nearly impossible to be alone with your thoughts. You are so hyper aware of your environment that you can't concentrate or hear anything that's happening inside your head. Too much is required of you. For me, the shower is my time of solitude away from society and obligations where I can sift through my thoughts, work through my mental garbage and in some ways find a sense of enlightenment. It's where I do my mental yoga. While I always somewhat regret not writing everything down or having someone to share my ideas with at that moment, I sometimes enjoy keeping it as my own.
So many of us have a tendency to overload our lives with social interaction, entertainment and work that we completely lose sight of ourselves. It is crucial to take these moments of quite introspection to get back in touch with what's happening within your own universe. I have sought counsel from various professionals, confided in friends, and taken advice from mentors but I find it is the time I dedicate to myself that leads me to true sense of understanding. Sometimes you have to be selfish, because its the time you spend alone that actually develops your real identity, not the people and the stuff that encircle you. Find a place of solitude, turn off the tv, take out your earplugs, put down the book and take the time to just listen to yourself.
1.25.2011
Human Baggage Cart.
Over the past six or so years, since living in New York, I have probably only driven a car a handful of times. As mentioned before, bad luck and sub par driving skills have left me a little shy when it comes to automobiles, so my lack of wheels for the most part does not phase me. However, walking home from a class at a Brooklyn studio reminded me of one of the aspects of a driving culture that I truly do miss. While I left the class feeling light, tall, pain free, focused and determined I began to notice the weight piling on my shoulders, compressing my spine and causing my chest to cave in. I had a giant shoulder bag filled with clothes, books, toiletries, etc., dangling off of one shoulder and a relatively heavy yoga mat draped across the other. My neck started to stiffen and my mood began heading in the opposite direction of where I had just so worked so hard to get. When I had a car I could throw everything I needed into the back and be out for the day without feeling like a turtle with an oversized shell. Now I leave the house taking every item I might possibly need for an entire day of work and play in the city. Each outing I end up packing for a mini vacation, and this is my everyday. It becomes so habitual, that I usually leave the house with at least 5 items that I don't need, and all of the work I do in my practices becomes instantly less effective. My posture affects my body sensations as well as my emotions, and then my less than stellar mood in turn causes me to slump and frump even more. Its a cycle that I see in myself as well as most of my students.
So, how do you get away with not carrying your entire life on your back? There is the option of a rolling bag, but then you have to drag that thing behind you through the snow and crowds along the bumpy sidewalk all the while pulling one shoulder back into some awkward strained twist. What if, call me crazy, you just left it all at home? How much of what you are lugging around do you really actually need during the day and how much of it is just there for safety, comfort or just because you forgot it was in your bag? Maybe it's impossible to leave everything at home, maybe you could just leave a few items behind. Continue to lighten your load as much as you can and I promise you will feel a difference in your posture, your shoulder and back tightness especially, and most likely your mood. I carry my yoga mat with me everywhere out of habit, but honestly don't need it half of the time. I own several, and most studios either have a cheap rental or mat storage available. And really, aside from the occasional book or water bottle, most of what I need for the day can fit into the pockets of my coat.
The next time you leave your house, go through that giant bottomless pit of a bag you carry around (I'm guessing) and see if there is anything you can take out, or if maybe you can leave the bag at home and give your back a break. Back and shoulder pain can have such an intense effect on how we live our lives; spending the day hunched over and uncomfortable leaves us feeling frustrated, unsure of ourselves, victimized and weak. Creating space frees up the spine, the hips and chest, leaving us feeling open, alive, confident and ready to take on the world. Seriously, try it. The next time you walk to the store, take only your money and your keys. You will feel so much lighter.
** For a little extra back and shoulder relief, after reaching your destination drop all of your bags, separate your feet hip width apart and bend your knees slightly, planting your feet into the floor. Tuck your chin into your chest and begin to roll down the spine slowly, bending the knees even deeper until your chest rests comfortably on your thighs. Allow the head to drop toward the floor, take opposite elbows and hang out for at least 10 breaths. Release the back a little more with each exhale. For a variation, try making fists and placing them inside of opposite elbow crease, right along the biceps. If you feel unstable at all, or have an especially weak back, use a wall for support behind your butt. When you are done, slowly roll back up to stand.
So, how do you get away with not carrying your entire life on your back? There is the option of a rolling bag, but then you have to drag that thing behind you through the snow and crowds along the bumpy sidewalk all the while pulling one shoulder back into some awkward strained twist. What if, call me crazy, you just left it all at home? How much of what you are lugging around do you really actually need during the day and how much of it is just there for safety, comfort or just because you forgot it was in your bag? Maybe it's impossible to leave everything at home, maybe you could just leave a few items behind. Continue to lighten your load as much as you can and I promise you will feel a difference in your posture, your shoulder and back tightness especially, and most likely your mood. I carry my yoga mat with me everywhere out of habit, but honestly don't need it half of the time. I own several, and most studios either have a cheap rental or mat storage available. And really, aside from the occasional book or water bottle, most of what I need for the day can fit into the pockets of my coat.
The next time you leave your house, go through that giant bottomless pit of a bag you carry around (I'm guessing) and see if there is anything you can take out, or if maybe you can leave the bag at home and give your back a break. Back and shoulder pain can have such an intense effect on how we live our lives; spending the day hunched over and uncomfortable leaves us feeling frustrated, unsure of ourselves, victimized and weak. Creating space frees up the spine, the hips and chest, leaving us feeling open, alive, confident and ready to take on the world. Seriously, try it. The next time you walk to the store, take only your money and your keys. You will feel so much lighter.
** For a little extra back and shoulder relief, after reaching your destination drop all of your bags, separate your feet hip width apart and bend your knees slightly, planting your feet into the floor. Tuck your chin into your chest and begin to roll down the spine slowly, bending the knees even deeper until your chest rests comfortably on your thighs. Allow the head to drop toward the floor, take opposite elbows and hang out for at least 10 breaths. Release the back a little more with each exhale. For a variation, try making fists and placing them inside of opposite elbow crease, right along the biceps. If you feel unstable at all, or have an especially weak back, use a wall for support behind your butt. When you are done, slowly roll back up to stand.
1.24.2011
Cabin Fever.
Lovely weather we're having, don't you think? After an extremely brisk morning walk I decided that I would definitely not be leaving the house again and preceded to cancel all plans that required me to put on a coat, including my evening power yoga class. It seems the general consensus among friends that today is a bit of a bust and the best place to be is wrapped up in a blanket with a warm beverage. Now, as much as I love an excuse to hibernate, I can't help but feel a little restless, especially having bailed on my class. Having wasted hours on internet research, youtube viewing and the necessary afternoon nap (because I did so much with my day) its time to move. Years of athletics combined with a few too many car accidents and possibly just unfortunate genetics have left my joints with the tendency to feel achy and stiff when the temperature drops, so I find it extra crucial in the winter time to keep up my asana practice. If you're anything like me, you've probably been hunched over a computer or bundled up awkwardly on the sofa or a bed, tightening your chest, shoulders and hips. So, how about a yoga break?
It's important to begin slowly and build up warmth in the body, gradually opening up and moving deeper over the course of the practice. If you do not have a mat, try practicing on your rug or if you can stand it, the floor will do. Keep a pillow or blanket nearby to pad under your knees and tailbone. Begin in a comfortable tall seat, elevate the hips by sitting up on blankets, and then begin to breath slowly through the nose. If you know sitting up straight is a challenge, try sitting with your back against a wall. With the eyes closed, breath slowly in an out of the nose, concentrating especially on slowing down and lengthening the exhales. Inhaling naturally comes easier, but the average person only exhales out a portion of the air they breath in. This leaves a mess of stale air trapped in the chest, preventing fresh oxygen from moving into the lungs. Take notice of the depth and length of your breath. Is the inhale stopping in the upper chest or are you using your diaphragm to fully expand the lungs? Once you feel connected with your breath begin to move into your warm up postures.
Try taking a gentle seated twist in both directions before moving onto your hands and knees for a few rounds of cat/cow stretches. Keep your knees hip width apart, press down into the tops of your feet for stability and then stack the shoulders directly over the wrists. If you feel especially tight in the chest or any compression in the lower back move the hands slightly forward of the shoulders and tuck the tailbone to concentrate the movement in the thoracic spine. Focus on moving with the breath in this simple transition. Starting with a flat back, begin your inhale, and then move the chest forward, lift the chin and move the shoulders away from the ears. Gently press the shoulder blades into the back of the ribs. Move until the end of the inhale, and then as you exhale transition by rounding the back, tucking the chin into the chest and drawing the navel in. Continue back and forth going a little deeper each round, trying to increase the breath as the chest opens up. After a few rounds, press the hips back to the heels and rest the head down extending the arms forward for child's pose.
Come into a gentle downward facing down, peddling out the feet, bending the knees and pressing the chest toward the thighs, maybe twisting the knees to either side of your torso. Walk your feet up to your hands and then hang in a "rag doll" forward bend, knees bent, hands on opposite bent elbows with the torso hanging toward your feet.
Slowly roll up the back, allowing the head to come up last. Stand in Tadasana (mountain pose) with the eyes closed for a few breaths to re-center yourself. Slowly open the eyes on an inhale, lifting your heart and gaze towards the ceiling and draw the arms back behind the ears. Next move through several rounds of Surya Namaskar C focusing on connecting each movement with a single breath. Go as slowly as you feel your body needs in order to fully realize the potential opening of the postures. Make sure you do both sides equally, and see if you can go a little deeper with each round, further opening the hips, the chest and the back. Try to keep the face and shoulders relaxed and enjoy the slow rise of energy as you continue through this moving meditation. Feel free to modify and add variations if you know them..maybe taking a few down dog splits, or adding in a couple strengthening Chaturangas. I like to challenge myself by doing a few rounds with the back knee down and then finishing with the back knee lifted.
After you have finished, come back to Tadasana, close the eyes and breath deeply while enjoying the new feeling of warmth rushing through your body. Finish off with a few reclined poses to calm your senses and guide you toward a restful sleep. Lie down on your back and take a gentle bridge pose. Keep in mind that back bends are very stimulating, though, so you may want to take it easy if its almost bedtime. Bring the knees into the chest, squeezing the legs in to further press the air out as you exhale. Take a gentle supine twist, a happy baby pose and then an inversion of your choice. Again, headstands are a little more stimulating so shoulderstand is usually better in the evening. If you are new to inversions, try scooting your hips toward the wall and then swinging your legs up while you lie back on the floor. Place a pillow under your hips for a little elevation and maybe one under your head for comfort. Finish off with Supta Baddha Konasana by lying back, bending the knees and placing the soles of the feet together. If your hips are still feeling tight, place supports such as yoga blocks or blankets (even a large book would work) under your knees. Stay for a few minutes and then rest in Savasana.
I know this seems like a lot of information, but it is actually a really simple sequence that can be as long or short as you desire. Moving slowly in the evening will help center and calm you, but picking up the pace a bit in the morning will give you that energy boost you need to face the chilly morning air. We have to more months till Spring...it seems like a lifetime. But maybe instead of dreading every day and avoiding life, you can use the time indoors to develop your daily practice. Like I said, start slowly....overwhelming yourself at first will cause you to burn out, but building up your practice a little at a time will likely build a desire to keep moving forward.
It's important to begin slowly and build up warmth in the body, gradually opening up and moving deeper over the course of the practice. If you do not have a mat, try practicing on your rug or if you can stand it, the floor will do. Keep a pillow or blanket nearby to pad under your knees and tailbone. Begin in a comfortable tall seat, elevate the hips by sitting up on blankets, and then begin to breath slowly through the nose. If you know sitting up straight is a challenge, try sitting with your back against a wall. With the eyes closed, breath slowly in an out of the nose, concentrating especially on slowing down and lengthening the exhales. Inhaling naturally comes easier, but the average person only exhales out a portion of the air they breath in. This leaves a mess of stale air trapped in the chest, preventing fresh oxygen from moving into the lungs. Take notice of the depth and length of your breath. Is the inhale stopping in the upper chest or are you using your diaphragm to fully expand the lungs? Once you feel connected with your breath begin to move into your warm up postures.
 |
| Cat/Cow Positions |
Come into a gentle downward facing down, peddling out the feet, bending the knees and pressing the chest toward the thighs, maybe twisting the knees to either side of your torso. Walk your feet up to your hands and then hang in a "rag doll" forward bend, knees bent, hands on opposite bent elbows with the torso hanging toward your feet.
Slowly roll up the back, allowing the head to come up last. Stand in Tadasana (mountain pose) with the eyes closed for a few breaths to re-center yourself. Slowly open the eyes on an inhale, lifting your heart and gaze towards the ceiling and draw the arms back behind the ears. Next move through several rounds of Surya Namaskar C focusing on connecting each movement with a single breath. Go as slowly as you feel your body needs in order to fully realize the potential opening of the postures. Make sure you do both sides equally, and see if you can go a little deeper with each round, further opening the hips, the chest and the back. Try to keep the face and shoulders relaxed and enjoy the slow rise of energy as you continue through this moving meditation. Feel free to modify and add variations if you know them..maybe taking a few down dog splits, or adding in a couple strengthening Chaturangas. I like to challenge myself by doing a few rounds with the back knee down and then finishing with the back knee lifted.
 |
| Surya Namaskar C |
After you have finished, come back to Tadasana, close the eyes and breath deeply while enjoying the new feeling of warmth rushing through your body. Finish off with a few reclined poses to calm your senses and guide you toward a restful sleep. Lie down on your back and take a gentle bridge pose. Keep in mind that back bends are very stimulating, though, so you may want to take it easy if its almost bedtime. Bring the knees into the chest, squeezing the legs in to further press the air out as you exhale. Take a gentle supine twist, a happy baby pose and then an inversion of your choice. Again, headstands are a little more stimulating so shoulderstand is usually better in the evening. If you are new to inversions, try scooting your hips toward the wall and then swinging your legs up while you lie back on the floor. Place a pillow under your hips for a little elevation and maybe one under your head for comfort. Finish off with Supta Baddha Konasana by lying back, bending the knees and placing the soles of the feet together. If your hips are still feeling tight, place supports such as yoga blocks or blankets (even a large book would work) under your knees. Stay for a few minutes and then rest in Savasana.
I know this seems like a lot of information, but it is actually a really simple sequence that can be as long or short as you desire. Moving slowly in the evening will help center and calm you, but picking up the pace a bit in the morning will give you that energy boost you need to face the chilly morning air. We have to more months till Spring...it seems like a lifetime. But maybe instead of dreading every day and avoiding life, you can use the time indoors to develop your daily practice. Like I said, start slowly....overwhelming yourself at first will cause you to burn out, but building up your practice a little at a time will likely build a desire to keep moving forward.
1.23.2011
Please Stop Touching Me.
I can see you are in a bad mood, or maybe you just don't like me very much, maybe you don't like you very much...whatever it is, the negativity is oozing out of your pores. Part of my job as a teacher is reading body language, and trust me when you are unhappy...I know. As soon as my hands come anywhere near you, your entire body tenses up as if my intention is to cause you harm. It's okay, you don't have to be delighted with the world all of the time, but when you are focusing that hard on your own misery, you don't even give yourself a chance to open up to the possibility of a positive experience.
I have walked into countless yoga classes myself and because of my own bad mood, decided immediately that I didn't like the teacher, the room was too crowded or the class was boring me. I completely shut off any chance of enjoying myself and I waste so much energy trying to pick out the flaws in the situation that there is absolutely no chance of experiencing any of the many wonderful benefits of being there. It's silly and pointless, but I do it and I'm sure you do as well from time to time. That anger is just a defense mechanism that only serves to bury you deeper into your own problems, blocking you from so many beautiful moments that you could be experiencing if you could learn to let go a little.
My mother once told me that whenever she finds herself upset or angry with my father, her husband of 30 years, she makes herself think of 10 things that she loves about him. The act of focusing on the positive and taking a step back to reassess what's really happening helps to break up that cloud of negativity and bring clarity to the reality of the situation. Now, she was talking about relationships, but I try to apply this to my life whenever I feel any unpleasant emotion. Rather than letting myself spiral down into the depths of my sorrows, I make a list. What is good in my life right now? What do I like about where I am? What can I gain from this situation?
Sometimes in a class setting I realize that my frustration is simply because the sequence is filled with postures that I dislike and taking a step back allows me to see that my distaste probably has something to do with feeling inadequate. I'm sure I am not alone here, most people prefer to perform in a way that they know they will excel. I love a class that I can flow seamlessly through and leave feeling strong and graceful and empowered. The postures I avoid are usually the ones I need to be focusing on, but why would I want to spend an hour facing my own weaknesses? Rather than refusing to try, I think of ways this practice will help me grow and just that little energy shift can completely change the way I move and breath. I grow and become stronger in new ways, and my negative attitude slowly fades away.
Maybe the class is too advanced...rather than giving up, modify...figure out how to use what is being offered to you in a way that works for you. Move at your own pace and be willing to ask for help. This is your practice, your life, so you should do whatever you need in order to leave feeling better than when you arrived.
I have walked into countless yoga classes myself and because of my own bad mood, decided immediately that I didn't like the teacher, the room was too crowded or the class was boring me. I completely shut off any chance of enjoying myself and I waste so much energy trying to pick out the flaws in the situation that there is absolutely no chance of experiencing any of the many wonderful benefits of being there. It's silly and pointless, but I do it and I'm sure you do as well from time to time. That anger is just a defense mechanism that only serves to bury you deeper into your own problems, blocking you from so many beautiful moments that you could be experiencing if you could learn to let go a little.
My mother once told me that whenever she finds herself upset or angry with my father, her husband of 30 years, she makes herself think of 10 things that she loves about him. The act of focusing on the positive and taking a step back to reassess what's really happening helps to break up that cloud of negativity and bring clarity to the reality of the situation. Now, she was talking about relationships, but I try to apply this to my life whenever I feel any unpleasant emotion. Rather than letting myself spiral down into the depths of my sorrows, I make a list. What is good in my life right now? What do I like about where I am? What can I gain from this situation?
Sometimes in a class setting I realize that my frustration is simply because the sequence is filled with postures that I dislike and taking a step back allows me to see that my distaste probably has something to do with feeling inadequate. I'm sure I am not alone here, most people prefer to perform in a way that they know they will excel. I love a class that I can flow seamlessly through and leave feeling strong and graceful and empowered. The postures I avoid are usually the ones I need to be focusing on, but why would I want to spend an hour facing my own weaknesses? Rather than refusing to try, I think of ways this practice will help me grow and just that little energy shift can completely change the way I move and breath. I grow and become stronger in new ways, and my negative attitude slowly fades away.
Maybe the class is too advanced...rather than giving up, modify...figure out how to use what is being offered to you in a way that works for you. Move at your own pace and be willing to ask for help. This is your practice, your life, so you should do whatever you need in order to leave feeling better than when you arrived.
1.21.2011
A Blog Is Cheaper Than Therapy.
My new year's resolution this year is more of an intention than it is a goal; it is a lifestyle shift that I will slowly open up to over time. Like so many others, I have spent a good portion of my life living to please the world, creating a persona, an edited version of my true self, that I long believed was the "me" everyone else wanted to see and interact with. Perhaps due to a lack of confidence, social anxieties or good ole fear of rejection, I have wasted countless hours, days, months, hiding myself away in my cave of an apartment hoping no one will notice how very flawed I really am. But then one day I met a man, and my sanctuary was invaded and I could hide no more.... Maybe this was the push I needed to face reality, or it could be that I've exhausted myself trying to keep face, either way I knew it was time to change. So this year, my resolution is to learn how to be more authentic. I say learn, because I know that some of my behaviors have gone on for so long that they have become instinctual, and almost unrecognizable as anything other then who I am. By learning to really listen, and become aware of what is happening inside of me, physically, mentally, spiritually, I hope to better understand the reality of who I am at this moment, what I like about myself and what I would like to improve upon in a reasonable, healthy manner. In finding this awareness small shifts and improvements become more recognizable, and I can see more clearly how the me that I am today is not the same as last year, and I will probably never be this me again. With everyday I can evolve, but I must first learn to accept.
The way I behave on the yoga mat mirrors my daily existence. There are times when I am so distracted by my surroundings that I come close to walking away before I even start. And sometimes its my own jumble of thoughts and worries that keep my head from connecting with my body, to a point where again it seems useless to try. Fear freezes me and tricks me into believing that if I cannot do my best than I should not even bother. But, even these distractions and frustrations can be used as a tool and can lead me to a deeper understanding of my authentic self. Because, lets face it, unless I pack my bags and move to a cabin in the woods I will never be able to escape the noise and the crowds, and honestly the chaos around me at least overpowers the chatter of nonsense in my own mind. Yoga helps me to sort through it all, to see past the masks I have made for myself, to let go of the standards I have set for my own existence as well as the world around me, while giving me the opportunity to see what is already there. The real me.
The way I behave on the yoga mat mirrors my daily existence. There are times when I am so distracted by my surroundings that I come close to walking away before I even start. And sometimes its my own jumble of thoughts and worries that keep my head from connecting with my body, to a point where again it seems useless to try. Fear freezes me and tricks me into believing that if I cannot do my best than I should not even bother. But, even these distractions and frustrations can be used as a tool and can lead me to a deeper understanding of my authentic self. Because, lets face it, unless I pack my bags and move to a cabin in the woods I will never be able to escape the noise and the crowds, and honestly the chaos around me at least overpowers the chatter of nonsense in my own mind. Yoga helps me to sort through it all, to see past the masks I have made for myself, to let go of the standards I have set for my own existence as well as the world around me, while giving me the opportunity to see what is already there. The real me.
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