I can see you are in a bad mood, or maybe you just don't like me very much, maybe you don't like you very much...whatever it is, the negativity is oozing out of your pores. Part of my job as a teacher is reading body language, and trust me when you are unhappy...I know. As soon as my hands come anywhere near you, your entire body tenses up as if my intention is to cause you harm. It's okay, you don't have to be delighted with the world all of the time, but when you are focusing that hard on your own misery, you don't even give yourself a chance to open up to the possibility of a positive experience.
I have walked into countless yoga classes myself and because of my own bad mood, decided immediately that I didn't like the teacher, the room was too crowded or the class was boring me. I completely shut off any chance of enjoying myself and I waste so much energy trying to pick out the flaws in the situation that there is absolutely no chance of experiencing any of the many wonderful benefits of being there. It's silly and pointless, but I do it and I'm sure you do as well from time to time. That anger is just a defense mechanism that only serves to bury you deeper into your own problems, blocking you from so many beautiful moments that you could be experiencing if you could learn to let go a little.
My mother once told me that whenever she finds herself upset or angry with my father, her husband of 30 years, she makes herself think of 10 things that she loves about him. The act of focusing on the positive and taking a step back to reassess what's really happening helps to break up that cloud of negativity and bring clarity to the reality of the situation. Now, she was talking about relationships, but I try to apply this to my life whenever I feel any unpleasant emotion. Rather than letting myself spiral down into the depths of my sorrows, I make a list. What is good in my life right now? What do I like about where I am? What can I gain from this situation?
Sometimes in a class setting I realize that my frustration is simply because the sequence is filled with postures that I dislike and taking a step back allows me to see that my distaste probably has something to do with feeling inadequate. I'm sure I am not alone here, most people prefer to perform in a way that they know they will excel. I love a class that I can flow seamlessly through and leave feeling strong and graceful and empowered. The postures I avoid are usually the ones I need to be focusing on, but why would I want to spend an hour facing my own weaknesses? Rather than refusing to try, I think of ways this practice will help me grow and just that little energy shift can completely change the way I move and breath. I grow and become stronger in new ways, and my negative attitude slowly fades away.
Maybe the class is too advanced...rather than giving up, modify...figure out how to use what is being offered to you in a way that works for you. Move at your own pace and be willing to ask for help. This is your practice, your life, so you should do whatever you need in order to leave feeling better than when you arrived.
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